Everyone starts somewhere

A spirit level reading Close Enough, its bubble sitting past the mark CLOSE ENOUGH

A guild for heating engineers who would rather get good than look good.
No ranks. No masters. Nobody here is better than you.

Join the waiting list

Things we want to
get good at

Nobody is an expert in all of it. That is rather the point.

  • Heat loss
  • Sizing
  • Flow temperatures
  • Balancing
  • Soldering
  • Pumps
  • Underfloor
  • Heat pumps
  • Pricing the job

What the guild
is for

Ask anything
We teach each other Heat loss. Sizing. Flow temperatures. Commissioning. Balancing. The stuff nobody ever sat you down and explained. Taught by whoever in the room knows it, not by whoever has the fanciest title.
Bring a brew
We turn up for each other Workshops, site days, evenings in a room with a whiteboard and a brew. The plan is simple: bring a job that has beaten you, leave with three ways to fix it.
Charge properly
We run better firms Pricing. Quoting. Saying no. Getting paid on time. Not working every Saturday until you are fifty. The half of this trade nobody trains you for.

Eligibility

Tick all that apply. We have saved you the bother.

  • You fit, fix or design heating systems.
  • You are an apprentice in your second week.
  • You are thirty years in and still googling it in the van.
  • You have asked a question that made you feel thick.
  • You have swallowed a question so you would not look thick.
  • You want to size a system properly, not by eye.
  • You would like to charge what the job is worth.
  • You are bang average. So is everyone who wrote this.
Boxes required for entry 0

We are the many,
not the few

What we are not

  • Levels
  • Grades
  • Tiers
  • Badges
  • Elders
  • A council
  • A crest
  • An entrance exam
  • A sponsor required
  • A shortlist of the worthy
  • A dress code

We could not rank you if we wanted to. There is nothing here to rank you with.

The terms

01

Whoever is teaching this week was the one asking last week. There is no ladder to climb.

02

Everyone starts somewhere. The first day counts as much as the ten thousandth.

03

There are no daft questions. There are systems in the ground running at 70 degrees because somebody was too embarrassed to ask one.

04

What you know, you share. What you do not, you say.

05

Whatever you get taught here, you teach on to the next person who asks.

06

Your ego stays in the van.

Bang Average The Guild of Bang Average Heating Engineers
Member YOU, ALREADY
No. 0001 Since the day you ask

Put your name to it

One box. It is the only one on this page you have to fill in yourself.

We will email you when the first sessions are booked, and about nothing else. Unsubscribe any time.

Nothing has happened yet: no events, no members, not so much as a T-shirt. That is exactly why we need you on this list.